I'm Not Supposed to Love you Anymore
by mspolapotter
Summary: I pushed the thoughts of you at the back of my mind . . . because I cannot think about you the same way ever again.


Hey y'all!

High School is officially over (for me at least) so I got 'round to writing something.

This one's a Songfic, of a Bryan White song I heard on my sister's computer. I hope you guys enjoy!

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><p><strong><em>I'm Not Supposed to Love you Anymore<em>**

_an HHr Songfic_

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><p>No, it wasn't easy to move on.<p>

No, I didn't spend weeks crying. I had to be a man. I had to suck it up and smile. But it wasn't easy.

_We agreed that it was over_

_Now the lines have all been drawn_

_The vows we made began to fade_

_But now they're gone_

_Put your pictures in a shoe box _

_And my gold ring in a drawer_

_I'm not supposed to love you anymore_

We had agreed on this. I wasn't supposed to love her anymore.

Of course she knew I was in love with her. I had dropped enough hints to let her know. But at the time she was pining for Ron. It had been wrong, to fall in love with me when to love Ron was the right thing to do . . . because everyone expected it.

I put all the pictures of the two of us in a shoe box and hid it under my bed. The ring I was supposed to give her? I left it in the church.

A few days after Ron's proposal, we'd eaten lunch together. She and Ron had argued because she wanted me to help her, not him, with the wedding. In the end, she was able to convince Ron and made me Man of Honor. I knew she was telling me all of this, but all I could do was stare at her, how happy she seemed. I smiled. I'm not supposed to love her anymore.

_Now Sheri says she's jealous_

_Of this freedom that I've found_

_If she were me _

_she would be out on town_

_And she said she can't imagine_

_What on earth I'm waitin for_

_I'm not supposed to love you anymore_

"So enough about me, what about you?" she suddenly asked. "What are you waiting for? Shouldn't you be proposing as well?"

"Uh, sorry," I replied. "To whom?"

"Ginny!" she said incredulously. "You two are meant to be!"

I began mumbling incoherently. "Um . . . well . . . you know . . . right timing and everything . . ."

She just laughed. I laughed with her.

"You're so cute when you mumble . . ." she said under her breath with a sigh.

_Oh I shouldn't care or wonder where _

_and how you are_

_But I can't hide this hurt inside_

_My broken heart_

_I'm fightin back emotions_

_That I've never fought before_

_Cuz I'm not supposed to love you anymore_

Here I was, remembering her laugh and smiling, wondering if she was genuinely happy with Ron. I shouldn't be doing this. My heart was hurting. I'm not supposed to love her anymore.

It never hurt before, when we were looking for the Horcruxes. It never hurt when it was just the two of us. I'm not exactly saying that we were happy without Ron, but honestly, it just felt right whenever we were together.

"They're here," I had said in a low voice when we were in the graveyard in Godric's Hollow. It had been Christmas Eve that night.

She'd conjured a wreath of Christmas roses. I was silent as I spoke to them. Mum . . . Dad . . . this is Hermione. She has been my best friend for seven years. I hope one day I'll marry her.

"Merry Christmas, Harry," she'd said when the church bells rang. She put her head on my shoulder.

"Merry Christmas, Hermione," I replied and kissed her on the forehead.

_Now I'm writin you this letter_

_And it's killin me tonight_

_That I agree _

_That you believed it wasn't right_

_And I couldn't sleep up on the bed_

_So I'm down here on the floor_

_Well I'm not supposed to love you anymore_

What was weird was that the church bells now sounded like wedding bells. I was being reeled into another memory.

"I love her like a sister," I reassured Ron before the wedding. "It's always been like that."

But of course, I was lying. I have always loved her more than just my sister.

I was walking down the aisle, following Ginny, the actual Maid of honor. A few moments after I stood right next to George, Ron's best man, the wedding march played. The girl that I loved was walking down the aisle. Every step she took made me long for her even more. It made me wish that I was in Ron's position. I was holding back tears, but for a different reason.

When she reached the end, she hugged each one of the groomsmen, then George. Then, she stared at me. For a brief second, I saw in her eyes that she wasn't crying out of joy. I let a tear roll down my cheek. We were crying for the same reason. Finally, she hugged me.

"I'm not supposed to love you anymore," I whispered. I could feel her arms tighten around me, but I let her go with a tearful smile.

She kissed her father on the cheek. I very nearly stepped forward to receive her hand before remembering that she wasn't to be mine.

I wonder if there are actually people out there who have found the love of their lives, but had to let go . . . simply because of a misconception . . . that their love isn't theirs.

I wonder if the world's population was an odd number, and I'm the one who was destined not to be with anyone.

I sighed and pushed those thoughts away with a huge gulp of Firewhisky. I should be forgetting Hermione. I'm not supposed to love her anymore.

_I'm fightin back emotions _

_that I've never fought before_

_Cuz I'm not supposed to love you anymore_

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><p>There. I hope you guys liked it. I certainly enjoyed writing it.<p>

Thanks for reading! Please review! Z:D


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